Things people don’t understand unless they wear contact lenses…

I’ve had many conversations with people who have perfect vision about contact lenses and there is so much of this world that they just do not understand. And lucky for them… about contact lenses and there is so much of this world that they just do not understand…

Taking off make-up is a nightmare.

You have to take your contact lenses out first, or you’ll scrub them a) out b) to the back of your eyeball if you attempt to rub your mascara or eyeshadow off whilst wearing them. So you have to try and remove them first. Good luck. The amount of mascara some of us wear means getting past our almost solid eyelashes to fish out this little disc of vision. On top of this, if you don’t wear dailies – you’ve got to get all the residual make-up off the aforementioned lens before storing it away for an overnight soak.

Putting them in water seems like a good idea

I have done this on occasion – particularly if I’m somewhere where I know I need to be able to drive myself home the next day (or frankly make it home under my own steam using any other method of transport other than being delivered back to my door – yes, I am that blind). However, my friends – a married couple who are an optician and ophthalmologist respectively – recoiled in horror when I told them this. Apparently there is some horrific water-borne bug that if it gets trapped between your eye and lens…well, bad things happen.

Falling asleep watching with your lenses in is AGONY

You’re curled up watching a movie, your eyes get heavy, you wake up half an hour later feeling like the someone has put glue on your eyes and set it with a heat gun. All the moisture from your eyes are gone and your lenses are firmly bonded with the top layer of your eyeball. Cue trying to remove them without ripping off the top layer of your cornea…

Swimming is terrifying

Ever seen those people who seem frightened of water touching their face? Well, chances are, they wear contact lenses. Having your contact lens washed out of your eyes is terrifying for three reasons – 1) the general chlorine mixed with contact lens drama is bad enough 2) if your lens does get washed away – you can LITERALLY SEE NOTHING 3) Scary microbes that live in water are SO BAD for your eyes, you should avoid them at all costs.

Uncontrollable winking

This is often seen in offices, coffee shops, in the street – basically anywhere. A little bit of insight (pun, ha!) – this is someone who has something on their lens. Whether its an eyelash, a blob of mascara, a hair or some random airborne item – it is now lodged on their lens and short of taking the lens out, the second best option is to blink your eye rapidly hoping to dislodge it. Also, it hurts like a MOFO so it’s literally impossible not to wink crazily, usually whilst water is pouring out of your eyes…

Unplanned night activities are stressful

Now this sounds rude, but not in that way – although that way also applies here. Many a night I’ve been out, or over at a friends and they say ‘oh, just stay at mine tonight’. This drives fear into my heart. I haven’t got my lenses case or my glasses! I panic that I’ll be blind come morning if I don’t have the appropriate place to store my lenses and so inevitably have to make excuses that I have to go home unless I’m sober and have my car in which case I can hop into my car, drive all the way home, pick up my eye-related paraphernalia and head on back to the party / outing / meal that I was at safe in the knowledge that I have my lenses stuff with me and now the world is my oyster!!

Only putting one in and trying to make it through the day makes you look like a psycho

We’ve all been there. You’ve either dropped or damaged a lens but either don’t want to wear your glasses (or if you’re me – have no idea where your glasses are). This results in winging it with just the one and what ensues is the inevitable inadvertent winking at individuals whilst trying to focus your good eye on something, a constant battle to try and focus both eyes at the same time and a splitting headache.

You can lose a lens in the back of our eyeball but it will not end up in your brain

A friend of mine’s mum was an optician and I remember my friend telling me how a customer came in because he had lost his lenses, and her mum proceeded to fish around 3 lenses out of each eye that had got lost in the void somewhere…how? I do not know.